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ItS JuS Me***someone tat is emo at times. someone tat needs attention all the times. dun like to be in the spotlight but still,wants to be. wants everybody to like me. |
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http://idunknowme.wordpress.com/
hey guys,do visit my new blog @ http://idunknowme.wordpress.com/
i will stop blogging at frenster wef now... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 8:01 PM
Doesnt Mean...
Read Piglet's blog & true enough...
dun contact doesnt mean no more frens BUT it doesnt mean tat the ''bond'' is still within,rite? well,i defintely felt so... i have said tat Human Beings r weird species & how true it is... let nature takes it course,maybe in time to come - Good Fren might jus become ''Hi-Bye'' fren... (Dun say no,it will happen.Only when?)
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:50 PM
actually i am quite sad...
actually i am quite upset but i m telling myself not to...
haiz,tis is not the first time anyway,why bother? its jus a matter of time & i will get over it... haiz,Mum popped a question earlier in the day. she said,''so wat r u goin to do in a few mths time?'' well,apparently i didnt quite tell her wat i m actually goin to do cos i have absolutely no idea. studies? i know its a must but in actual fact-i dun wan to. do i have to force myself to go back school or should i jus... Ms Angeline spoke to me over the other day & i too told her i dun know wat i should do. she mentioned tat one of her boy also have the same dilemma... huh??? i really dun know wat to do... arrgghhh... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 11:56 PM
I hATE You!!!!
arrggghhhh,really freaking me out!
its like a monthly kinda thingy where i have to wrecked my every brain cells jus to balance the accounts...worst still,beginning of a new financial year & i have to clear last FY nonsense... (not forgetting the pressure tat the superior gave u plus countless times of amendments on a piece of work which nearly drives me crazy...) those incomes,expenses & wat r they...jus freaks me out totally. & worst thing-while i m stuck wif all these nonsense,others around me r having their ''holiday'', chatting,laughing & of cos, not forgetting sleeping... worst of all,there r people who ''claims'' i have got nothing to do & am very free all the time... wa,all they does is know how to speak ill of others & always,without fail,claimed tat how busy & busy they were to be but actually they r relaxing their life out there while other suffered... now who's said life is fair???
posted by Spidey Bear @ 10:20 PM
Strange Creatures
i was watching one of those drama shows earlier & i was kinda agreed wif wat they said.
Human Beings are like such Strange Creatures. When u thot u have learn to forget & let go of the past, memories will start to flash back across ur mind, regardless happiness or sadness when u see tat someone. well,especially when the incident happened some years or some times back... dun u agree? do u tink of the past when u see tat someone u once loved or knew before? well,i have...how bout u? Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 10:34 PM
Ho Ho Ho...
today is exactly one mth time away from my 22th Birthday...
sianz,tis yr falls on a thurs,haiz,dun know whether wanna take leave to rest anot but i cant really take a lot of leaves tis yr as i need to keep them for my O.R.D. also,even if i take leave,there's nothing much to do ba... haiz... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 8:09 PM
HuRTs...
i actually feel hurt when i read bout something.always & always thot u r the one tat i can turn to when i needed someone but actually i m like a nobody?!
i know i have been a really lousy companion but i still care alot bout u, my heart is aching... dun use the words like ''best'', it doesnt represent anything... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 11:15 PM
Not A VeRy GOoD Day FoR Me...
13-12-08
not a very good day for me today.sucks.everythings seems to be goin in the wrong way. -Friendster blog cannot go in. -knocked into a gal while walking...(very sorry...) -just not feeling very good... haiz,why today?so disappointing,should be a very good day for me cos i get to meet up wif Markois after sooo long...haiz... dun wanna talk bout it anymore... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 11:26 PM
nO MorE...
read PoOH Family blog & realised tat Piglet & Eeyore is in a bitter mood.
why? why? why? wat have caused all these to happen? its actually tiring for me cos i have said tis to Marcus before n i m tired already. to: Marcus (if u happen to read tis...) one time is ok,but the subsequent times of repeatedly telling the same old story & the answer u gotten back is something tats unamused,how would u feel? frankly speaking,i have given up. i will still take the initiative to meet u but for u? i leave it for u to decide... i m sad,tats all... (i know tis few yrs,u are not feeling well due to ur health issues but still,i m glad tat u r always around whenever i needed ur company-THANKS.i really appreciate.) take good care. Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 1:55 AM
I HAVE A DREAM...
i have a dream tis week n it quite bothered me...
erm,dun really wanna share bout it but i've tried looking online & found different answers,i dun know which one is true n one of the answer scares me... haiz... wat does it mean? Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:49 PM
ThE eYeS...
the pair of eyes...
is it trying to tell me something? or am i ''dreaming'' again? *sianz* Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 10:12 PM
Threaten...
my last blog post was like more than a mth ago...
wa,time really flies... my ORD date nearer and nearer?haha... i m defintely happy but when i tink of wat am i gonna do after i ORD? my mind totally turns blank. i feel terrified as i have got absolutely no plan,n when others r all talking bout wat they gonna do after they ORD.i jus kept quiet thruout cos i gotta nothing to say at all,i dun know wat to say,i m speechless... i have read tis quite a few times n all mentioned bout the same things-'Aquarius tend to dream alot but they will not know how to fulfil it.' tats wat i pratically does.i dream big but i dare not take a step further... i feel troubled whenever i tink of tis n feel the pressure bigger esp when my ORD dates r near...haiz... somemore,after having to get wat i wanted.a CPL rank plus Dept IC 2 (for now...), there s not much 'kick' for me as i could not expect anything more... then my junior will be given a chance to become SGT!!! oh my god... i feel threaten when i heard tis n i kinda feel tat he might pass the mark... sianz ah... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:55 PM
FiNaLlY?
erm...finally.
the current IC goin for his off & leave wef today... thus,i m now the 2nd IC... well,honestly,i do love the ''power'' tat comes with it but its not easy... well,been thru all these shit yrs ago so quite familiar wit it but still,i will feel nervous.cos the decision tat i've made will not affect only others but me,myself too... tis is wat i've learnt-to be a good leader,u've got to know how to gain everybody's favour,but then when u get too much of 'it',things sometimes turns nasty. i m jus a 2nd IC so there's not much say yet but hopefully by end of December.i will be able to go one step further,to be the Dept IC. haiz,very sianz liao,i m actually very sick & tired of the work i m doing now.but wat to do?have to suck thumb in order to secure my future... haiz...there's so much haiz tat i wanna say it out loud... sianz ah... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:22 PM
will it come true?
wat i want seems to have come true but...
i m afraid tat i might just lose it like tat... its not confirm yet but its so-called been 'planned' already... all i have to wait is to wait til Oct & everything will come true? goodness,its nerve-wrecking... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:14 PM
Like & Dislike
been feeling tat i m lucky enough to have a well,not tat nice & all but still,good to me superior.But now the table seems to have turn,he start to pick on me & my senior?!
wat the!!! why the sudden change? i dun get it?! he confined us jus cos of some photocopy of work material which in the case was done up by my senior & looked wat happened? did all or rather 98% of the stuffs tat he requested & tis is how he 'appreciate' us? the stuffs tat he hand over to us is reasonable manageable but tedious... i've been doing the same thing for almost a mth now(sorry,its from June til now) & i can tell u tat-its not the end. my senior still gotta bout 4 mths to go whereas i?a jolly good 14 mths! frankly,i dun wanna suffered under such mean & ungrateful pair of hands which only make me feel tat i have once again lost the sense of 'belonging' tat makes me wanna go work everyday. i dun understand why other superiors can handle their own stuffs very well & not involved any of his 'employees' to do but tis?its getting a bit too over isnt it? i find it extremely unfair. hold the same rank but in work wise?gosh,a big difference... even those civilians working also make some nasty remarks bout how he handle his work stuff.wat a shame,know how to tell off his 'employees' but he,himself?ha,wat a joke! been hearing tat he's suppose to post out sometime in tis yr but goodness sake,the dear 'queen' holds him back.now i'm just waiting for him to leave tis place for good!!!(& may it be a quickie!!!)i cant wait anymore,its slowly killing me!!! promote the people who dun derserve abit.must be fooled & blinded by their way of doing or something,& i honestly hope he will regret his decision. (i m not jealous or anything,i jus dun tink they deserve it.) pls!jus leave... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 9:27 PM
Loneliness...
i've always feel like its ok or rather fine to be alone at many times...
it doesnt bother me back then to go out alone or do things alone but somehow the ''insecurities'' within me seems to have arise. i m beginning to feel tat its weird to go out alone,go to places alone & even dining alone. i seem to care alot bout how people looked at me & stuff. its very uneasy & uncomfortable... i very much feels tat there r limited people to turn to when i needed company,in fact,its only down to a certain number. it bothers me alot. its not easy to find one who u can interact so well & be the 1st one to come to mind when u needed someone to be there but now,i can only tink of few which i can count using one hand... its pretty upsetting & a big turn-off... tis is not wat i want,never. Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 1:02 AM
ThanK God!
was feeling as if the world comes to an end yesterday due to some uncertain circumstances.But really bliss in disguise cos somehow,i managed to 'get' away with it...
hardly any words could describe me yesterday,but pls,no more such things in the near future to come! my workload is 'killing' me!!! Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 8:50 PM
ShOuLd i?
i know i m gonna have a hard time to do so but i have no choice but to do so cos...
i know tat there r people who dun like me but there's nothing much tat i can do... well,all my naggy turns into 'evil' when it comes out from my mouth,so,i m gonna control myself from nagging & bossy towards all these uncalled for people... i must bear tis in mind... also feeling very confused & uncomfortable at tis point of time cos i dun know wat & how to do... why are there moments flashing back again & again? why cant i just seem to get out of these confused situations? is it all part of my own wishful tinking or the truth is just rite infront & i m not doing anything bout it? i m feeling down when i tink of it... confused,sad & troubled... Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 11:09 PM
WaT dOeS iT MeAN?
just did a simple tarot reading for myself.
well,the card tat i chose using my own intuition is the card---The Hermit. and i tink the card already answer my question. there is someone in the pic wearing a coat,holding a lamp & stick & seems like he/she is waiting for someone or something. well,i've read thru the various description of wat the card meant & its not optimistic. well,i do hope tat one of the description will come true & tat is---Patience. Labels: Myself
posted by Spidey Bear @ 2:12 AM
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